READY OR NOT?
Word Count: 2010
A pen on a blank paper writes:
"Ready or Not? To have and to hold, in richness and in poor, in sickness and in health, till death do us part" blah blah blah. You may now kiss the bride and boom it's happily ever after. Yeah right.. oh well.. everyone is different you can never tell who gets the happy ending and who doesn't. All about choices and luck. Choices? Hmm...
Here I was, sitting on my bed about to make the biggest choice of my life at the moment, I'm 19 years old in college, living the perfect average life and has the most thoughtful,caring boyfriend any girl could ever wish for. He is the-perfect-guy to me and that's why it didn't take me so much doubt to make the decision I have made.
We've been dating for a year and two months now and we've managed to keep our celibacy until now, it had never gone past making out and kisses for some reason, each time we wanted to take it further, the universe being a scam would hinder it somehow, but not tonight.
It is "the night", the night I've longed for, the night that I finally get to loose my virginity willingly to the guy I love, he deserves it, I mean.. come on, we've waited this long. I am READY to give it to him.
I had gone shopping during the day for a very sexy white lingerie, I didn't want to go with my bestie, I wanted this to be just him and I. I'll definitely tell her after though-- after we do "it". It was the weekend and mom had gone for a seminar, dad works in another state, and due to the busy week, we were only able to see each other on Monday after school, so, yesterday I called him and told him to come over and spend the night with me, tonight.
It is "the night", the night I've longed for, the night that I finally get to loose my virginity willingly to the guy I love, he deserves it, I mean.. come on, we've waited this long. I am READY to give it to him.
I had gone shopping during the day for a very sexy white lingerie, I didn't want to go with my bestie, I wanted this to be just him and I. I'll definitely tell her after though-- after we do "it". It was the weekend and mom had gone for a seminar, dad works in another state, and due to the busy week, we were only able to see each other on Monday after school, so, yesterday I called him and told him to come over and spend the night with me, tonight.
Throughout today, I couldn't help my excitement, my cheeks were high up as I could not stop smiling, my ringtone was "Tonight (Best you ever had) by John Legend , I changed it just for the day so I could be in the mood. I'm planning to play it on my mini-speaker when he arrives, I hear romantic songs make sex more pleasurable.... I'm ready, I've been ready. I'm finally going to do this.
It's 9pm, the lingerie looks so gorgeous on me, how can it not, my tiny waist, C-cup boobs and curvy hips is the perfect seductive body. I hear the doorbell and my heart skipped, omg.this is about to happen, he is here! I rushed to the door and being the most thoughtful boyfriend as always, he brought a white rose, my favorite. I smiled as I collected it and he placed a kiss on my cheek.
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In no time, we were on the bed, after a bit of foreplay, we were both naked and ready to do it, he slid the condom in and got on top of me, he looked upon my face with those beautiful eyes of his and whispered to me "are you ready, you okay with this? We don't have to you know" .. "I know, I'm ready" he placed a kiss on my forehead and moved to my lips, slowly our lips moved in sync and into a passionate deep kiss, I didn't even notice when he entered inside me until I felt a sharp pain and I yelled, he stopped kissing me and was about to pull out when I held him closer-- "it's fine... it feels good" , it really does feel good, after the pain, I couldn't stop my moans, I couldn't think, my eyes were rolled back, I was holding on the the bedsheet so tight as he was going in and out slowly and sometimes a little but fast. It was exhilarating, it felt like heaven, this was a pleasure that I have never felt before. This feeling is something I want to feel again again and again, I am not satisfied, I don't think I'll ever be sated. I want more. I just kept on moaning and panting over and over until he finally came, I had cum during the intercourse many times, so I was okay.
He brought out the condom and we both laid on the bed trying to catch our breath. There was blood on the bedsheet, I summoned a bit of strength, got up and removed the sheet, he made a gesture wanting to help but I told him no, I went into the bathroom and showered for a few minutes, in no time I was out and on the bed, in the arms of the one I love.
"Did you like it? Want to do it again?"---- of course I want to! Definitely! "Right now?" He asked as he got on top of me, "yeah...but you don't have your condom on", I stated my concerns but he assured me that he has cummed the first time so it will make it easier for him to do the "pull out method" for the second time.. I looked at him coyly and asked "have you been practicing in another girl?"--- "no babe.. just been watching a lot of videos" then we both laugh and he ceased my lips into a deep kiss..
"Did you like it? Want to do it again?"---- of course I want to! Definitely! "Right now?" He asked as he got on top of me, "yeah...but you don't have your condom on", I stated my concerns but he assured me that he has cummed the first time so it will make it easier for him to do the "pull out method" for the second time.. I looked at him coyly and asked "have you been practicing in another girl?"--- "no babe.. just been watching a lot of videos" then we both laugh and he ceased my lips into a deep kiss..
He brought his hands down there and after putting two fingers in and making me so wet for him, he entered me for the second time, after that I can only remember reaching climax and then falling asleep in his arms, the next day he had to go home. It was hard letting him go but it was necessary, I had to take care of the house and do assignments.
A month later, I was yet to see my period but I wasn't worried, my period has always been unstable, sometimes I see it once in two months, I always felt like it was a good thing, the pain is unbearable.
"It will probably come the next month", I told myself unbothered. The next month came and I was yet to see my period, I started to get scared.. "wait.. did he not pull out on time? Or completely? This can't be, I can't be pregnant right?" It was the ending of the second month,I was planning to call my boyfriend if I don't see my period tomorrow morning. It's a Friday night, mom didn't travel today, she said it was her off day, it's been a while since we had bonding time so we would spend the weekend together. After watching TV for hours--gosh Kids Say with Tiffany gave us good laugh, it's so amazing how much children of now are so enlightened about the world. After cleaning up, we both said goodnight and went straight to our rooms, that's when it happened.
"It will probably come the next month", I told myself unbothered. The next month came and I was yet to see my period, I started to get scared.. "wait.. did he not pull out on time? Or completely? This can't be, I can't be pregnant right?" It was the ending of the second month,I was planning to call my boyfriend if I don't see my period tomorrow morning. It's a Friday night, mom didn't travel today, she said it was her off day, it's been a while since we had bonding time so we would spend the weekend together. After watching TV for hours--gosh Kids Say with Tiffany gave us good laugh, it's so amazing how much children of now are so enlightened about the world. After cleaning up, we both said goodnight and went straight to our rooms, that's when it happened.
The sharp pain! Gosh! It came so suddenly and didn't stop. What is happening! I started to feel wet, oh crap. I'm on my period. Not now! I rushed to the bathroom after I grabbed my sanitary pad from the cupboard. The blood just kept on flowing, the pain was excruciating, I yelled but but my lower lip so mom wouldn't hear. I don't want to disturb her, I'll take some drugs and after an hour,I'll be fine but the blood didn't stop. I went into the shower and I just starred at my own pool of blood , wait.. why so much? Is it because it took two months?
Hell! This pain is nothing like period pains, I quickly stepped out of the shower, put on the pad and took painkillers but the pain didn't stop. I crawled to my bed and cowered in severe pains waiting for an hour to pass so the drugs can finally kick in but it never did.
It's 10:30 and I am still in intense pain, it's becoming unbearable, something is wrong, I have to tell Mom. The whole bed was filled with blood, this flow is too much to just be a period, something else must be wrong with me, I have to gather up the strength and call mom. I can't take this pain anymore, at this time, my face was filled with tears, rushing down like a river, I've never felt pain like this before.. why me?
Wait!... It can't be! Am I having a miscarriage?? This can't be happening! Impossible! I went into the bathroom again and I just kept bleeding, I bit my lips so hard to prevent me from screaming. I held on to the shower as I felt the most insufferable and harsh pain I have never felt before.. This is a nightmare, how could this happen? No!
Wait!... It can't be! Am I having a miscarriage?? This can't be happening! Impossible! I went into the bathroom again and I just kept bleeding, I bit my lips so hard to prevent me from screaming. I held on to the shower as I felt the most insufferable and harsh pain I have never felt before.. This is a nightmare, how could this happen? No!
I was finding it hard to come to terms that I'm having a miscarriage, I didn't even know I was pregnant and now I'm having a miscarriage! Oh my God. This is really unfortunate, in seconds I was inundated with blood, in tears and extreme pain I stared at my naked body and that's when my eyes saw it. "Is this my baby?" It looked like a worm with a big head and a tiny tail, I started crying profusely, my baby is on the floor. What have I done! I was crying so loud that I forgot that I could wake mom up if I continued..
I used both my palms to cover my mouth as I bathed in my tears and blood, all this happened so fast that I don't even know how to start thinking, finding out that I'm pregnant and now a miscarriage, where do I start?! I held unto the shower as I wept my heart out and that when another sharp pain hit me!
"Arhhhhhh" I screamed, not caring how loud it was because the pain was unbearable, it felt like my insides were ripping out. I felt like a machine was grinding in my stomach, and I was trying to force a poop out , only this time, from my vagina. "Gosh!!!!! I can't take this anymore! Somebody help me!" I just kept on pushing as blood continued flowing out until finally something dropped. It was another worm-like tissue, I took a closer look and it looked just like the first one. Oh no!
Another baby! I just lost another baby!!!! I was pregnant with twins!!! My sadness overwhelmed me at that moment, I couldn't feel a thing. I just started blankly as water washed washed away my baby. "What have I done!?" The bleeding started to reduce little by little and I put a pad on, I was finding it difficult to walk properly but I managed to get to the bed. I picked up my phone and called my boyfriend, explaining what had happened in between tears and he was completely devasted with every word I uttered.. I felt so sorry for him, he couldn't say a word to console me, he managed to say sorry but I could sense his voice breaking, the news came as a shock.
My hands over my mouth as I placed my phone on my side table still on the with my boyfriend, the words of Just Ella's poem--- Bleeding Soul , came to heart
"The Sharp Edge Of The Knife..
The Bitter Pierce That Severs The Skin Of Humane..
Frozen Tears And Clenched Teeth..
Unfolding Torture Of Infinite Pain..
Rain Of Selfless Blood..
Scattered Bones Of A Broken Heart..
Unraveling Melancholy Of A Darkened Soul..
Unstable Heartbeat Paranoid Of The Pain Of Time..
Deafened To The Consoling Words Of Another..
Finding Solace In Memories..
The Short Life Taken Before Time.."
The Bitter Pierce That Severs The Skin Of Humane..
Frozen Tears And Clenched Teeth..
Unfolding Torture Of Infinite Pain..
Rain Of Selfless Blood..
Scattered Bones Of A Broken Heart..
Unraveling Melancholy Of A Darkened Soul..
Unstable Heartbeat Paranoid Of The Pain Of Time..
Deafened To The Consoling Words Of Another..
Finding Solace In Memories..
The Short Life Taken Before Time.."
I cried as the words whispered again and again in my head and that's when I heard a knock on my door "hey sweetheart? Are you okay? I heard sounds coming from your room, open the door"
What do I do? Do I tell her the truth or keep this secret buried with me forever?
Am I Ready or Not???
Whoa. whoa...whoa... What do you think??? That is sad😞😞😞
But the question is?? Should she tell her mom?
Can she and her boyfriend continue their relationship???
How should she handle the stigma?
Does she just forget it happened?
So many questions.. I would like your answers please. The next story is in five days
P.SS: sorry for the errors, I'll try my best to edit them as much as I can.
Am I Ready or Not???
******* Just Ella******
Whoa. whoa...whoa... What do you think??? That is sad😞😞😞
But the question is?? Should she tell her mom?
Can she and her boyfriend continue their relationship???
How should she handle the stigma?
Does she just forget it happened?
So many questions.. I would like your answers please. The next story is in five days
P.SS: sorry for the errors, I'll try my best to edit them as much as I can.
This is a touching story.. I leart a lesson from it.. Thank you Ella, can't wait for another story.
ReplyDeleteAt first, when I saw thws I thought it would be like the movie but this is way better... OMG.. I can't believe she lost twns
ReplyDeleteThis is a very sad story...
ReplyDeleteWe should find courage and tell her mom, she needs to be consoled. It's saddening to lose a chils at such a young age
I need more stories like this... Thank you for this beautiful storystor damn, this is sad... As a lady, reading those words, I felt her pain.. She should also tell her mother even if it's hard.
ReplyDeleteWill she break up with her boyfriend? I think she will
Chiamaka(Kogi)
Beautiful sad story
ReplyDeleteWow
ReplyDeleteA tragedic story filled with lessons
Sigh.
ReplyDeletePainful to read.
Please take my advice Ella
I notice men are very lucky particularly,both enjoying it but she alone went through the pains. I felt for her, what a lesson to the younger ones
ReplyDeleteWow
ReplyDeleteI felt her pain
Wow! This seems so real and tragic too. The pain and everything...What will she do now? Tell her mom or keep the secret forever?
ReplyDeleteAs a guy I can relate to this, it was a heartbreak. My last relationship ended because of this.. My babe thought I wasn't nearly as hurt as she was because I wasn't feeling the physical pain but I was hurt. I was just trying to be strong for her, so she could have a shoulder to cry on.. I had to man-up because I can't be broken down and still console her. It really was a painful thing, I cried for nights, my girlfriend was hurting and I had just lost a baby. It really is the most painful thing that has ever happened to me, I still haven't gotten over it but I'm glad that someone shares my sympathy. Thank you for this.
ReplyDeleteWow.... This is saddest thing I've read. I pity the guy so much(if he truly loves her) he must be hurting so much... My opinion is, I don't think their relationship will continue. This kind of thing destroys relationship because you can't just stop thinking about it..
ReplyDeleteJeremy
Texas
This is heartbreaking, the most painful scene was when she lost her first baby in the bathroom.. I could barely continue, I was holding my stomach.I thought it would end there but she lost twins??? This is too sad. I can't imagine how she feels, she must feel so digust and hate herself for her babies dying. This should be a movie but it'll be really sad . I'm so glad that I came across this link. I hope the next story is a happy one. I've had enough heartbreak for the week
ReplyDeleteKim Sun Eun
Seoul
I came across this, normally I don't read but I gave it a chance because of the persuasion in your words. First I hope this isn't your story because I would feel really sorry for you. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Miss Just Ella,how often do you post?? Do you have specific days of the week?
ReplyDeleteEllen
Canada
This seems too good to be true but if it is, then wow.. so stuffs like this happen. Very sad
ReplyDeleteAbdullah.
Realizing she just lost a twins hurts more. This will mostly likely end the relationship, I dont know how but it just will.
ReplyDeleteI hope she opens the door for her mum and tell her everything, no one can understand and console her better.
This is a really sad but interesting story. More grease to your elbow