Word Count: A 4 mins read😍

               Earlier today I made a decision, more like a long awaited decision. It's been two months since I've bought this ring and I have been waiting for the perfect time to propose to her, but hey, it's either we're too busy or I'm too nervous. Nevertheless, tonight, I will. Standing in floral shop, I remember my smile as she rushed out of the room in the morning, she didn't want to look at my face, she couldn't hide her smile and nervousness, I noticed. I didn't tell her but I caught a glimpse of what she was hiding behind  when I suddenly entered the bathroom, or when she was putting on her makeup at her vanity table and when she carefully, swiftly put it in her blue handbag. 

I smiled as she hurriedly left the room. It was a pregnancy test. I was so happy when I saw it, though I couldn't see what the result was but I just felt joy in my heart. She must feel so confused right now, filled with so many different emotions. Is she happy? Is she sad?? Is she angry?? I don't know but two things that I am sure of is that she will tell me tonight---she is not the kind of person that keeps things to herself, and the second is that I will ask her to marry me tonight.  It's about time. I pick up white daises, her favorite, from her cousin's shop which we frequent a lot.. As I paid, her cousin gave me this look, like she knew tonight was going to be a special night and I smiled and winked at her. She'd understand. 

         As I left, she whispered to me "my girl is lucky to have you." It is going to be a beautiful night. I take out my notepad to tick my checklist for the day.  It's finally 6:50pm, she called earlier at noon that she would be visiting her sister downtown but she will be back by 7pm. Whoa, 10 mins more, oh well. I am almost done with the decorations.  Meanwhile, running my errands tonight, I got to understand a few  secrets that my girlfriend kept from me. To start off with, she has five dogs that she cares for dearly and I have grown to love, but it turns out only two are hers, the remaining are for an old woman who is at a home for elderly people. Secondly, she mortgage the house so as to feed a family that is two blocks away as the husband lost his job because the company he worked went bankrupt. How do I know all this?? The mail man, he came by 6pm and I was just arriving with the decorations, chocolate and flowers in my hand, so coincidentally we met. The box containing the ring fell and helped me pick it up. He had this beautiful wide smile on his face before he said to me "you are real lucky to have her. She is the kindest, truest and beautiful lady I have been graceful to meet. Please take care of her." I felt happy, asked why he said these words when he is just a mail man to her--okay, yeah, a hint of jealousy on my side, but to my surprise, he made me realize that I shouldn't be jealous, he truly is just a mail man but he is just marveled at her personality. Plus, she is the only one in the whole neighborhood that gives him tip whenever they cross path.

         "How nice of her." I thought within myself. I chuckled as he offered to help me take the stuffs inside and settle in. I am truly the luckiest guy on earth and I can't wait to let her know and tell her how much I would love to spend the rest of my life with her. The night is perfect. I don't care if she is pregnant or not or what she wants to do with the baby, all I want to do is support her and make her understand that I will always be there for her, trying my best not to make her cry. Jeez, I should start putting these words down in preparation for my vow on the wedding day. Oh my gosh. My heart starts to race at the thought of seeing her walk down the aisle. She always looked so beautiful in white. "Calm down man. It's just a proposal...you'll be fine" I repeat to 

myself as I couldn't stop my heart from pounding and racing at the thought . My phone chimes in midst of my attempt to be calm, it's a text message from her. "Babe, I'll be 5 mins late.. Don't blame me, it's my sister, you know how she is.. I love you. See you later" I can't help but chuckle.. First, when a girl says "5 more minutes" that literally means "1 more hour" and this is my babe, she would definitely take longer. Second, she is with her sister and they are like two peas in a pod. She obviously won't be releasing her anytime soon. So, I guess I have enough time on my hands to finish the decorations, calm my neverousness and pee. Haha. This is the plan, the bedroom is decorated with flowers and balloons, except the bed though which I dressed neatly with her favorite color of bedsheet- blue. The whole house scent like heaven, or almost, if I'm not exagerrating. It does smell nice with the air freshener I bought at the store, the lady who sold it couldn't hold her laugh when I kept insisting on the perfume not to be too strong or too weak, normal but scents like heaven.

               

 Gosh.. I am so nervous. Tonight is the night. So, here I am, done. The table is set, one thing I know I am awesome at is cooking and babe loves it.  It's 8: 11pm, so late right? I knew she would be this late but it doesn't matter. She's my girl and I will wait as long as it takes. Bedroom..check. Dinner table..check.. Decoration around the house..check..  I will be waiting at the door, bent on one knee and the ring in my hand. The balloon which says "will you marry me" is directly above me. So here goes everything. Patiently I waited, I was aware of every second that ticked, my knee doesn't hurt but the sweat all of my body could tell you how I am feeling at the moment.

 It's getting late, I try calling her and her phone is switched off, that cant be good. I dial her sister's number and in less than five second, she picks "hey Alisha...." I started but I was cut short by her husband voice in the background "heyyy soon-to-father" he yelled "wait... What?? Alisha what does he mean?? Is Alle?" I questioned immediately. "Shusssh..loudmouth" she whispered to her husband. "I can't get through to her" I continued before she could respond "Michael, she just left.. Her phone died, but I'm sure she'll be with you soon. Bye" she swiftly ended the call. I'm pretty sure she is avoiding telling me about the pregnancy. Anyways, that is not what matters now.

Is it this hard to propose to a girl or is it just me?? I don't know.. I don't feel so good. I stand up praying she doesn't walk right in, in the next 2 mins, as I am about to rush to the toilet to pee, for the nth time. Phew.. Bladder, have mercy.. This is an important night for me, I don't want to mess it up. I rushed back to the door and get on my knee...again. That's when I heard a knock. I lifted my head, expecting her to open the door but I heard the knock again. What is happening!? The second knock! At this moment, I realized it was not her at the door. Who could it be??? We aren't expecting anyone or is she?? I looked outside the window and I could see lights flashing and cars outside the house..  Wait... Is that???... I didn't want to comprehend my thoughts at the moment so I hurriedly, nervously, shakingly opened the door at the third knock. It is her cousin.  "He...y Michael. Something has happened." She said in a very shaky voice. I looked at her in despair, perplexed on what was happening at the moment. Why is she on my doorstep?? Where is my girlfriend? And why in the freaking universe has the police surrounded my house!!!!! What is happening!!!

            Tears ran down my cheek uncontrollably, at the unanswered questions in my head, the uncertainty, and the fear of the truth of what has happened. I looked at her sister again and held her by her shoulders as I screamed "where is she?" 

"I am so sorry.. Mr Michael. Miss Alle was found dead a few minutes ago, a block away from here. Her car veered off the road and crashed onto an electric pole. She rushed out immediately but still couldn't make it.  I am so sorry for your loss."  The police man that stood next to her said.

 I became confused in an instant. This is the first time that I have been told someone I care about is dead. I dont know how to feel. This cannot be real.!  How do I grief? How do I process this? Let this be a prank or a dream or a stupid nightmare! Anything but reality! Please. Let it not be real.. If there is a divine being.. Please, bring her back to me. I can't take this..This is not happening!.

        "Don't take her away from me!" I cried out. She is GONE! 

They say when you die, memories of your life for as long as you can remember flashes through your mind like a movie. Today, I realize that the one who mourns, at that instant, when told of the death of a loved one, also get this feeling of every single memory with that person flashing through the thoughts like a movie. The only difference is, for the one who is living, the movie is on replay.  Starting from the night we met to the night which should have been the start of the best night of our lives. I miss you so bad and I can't forget you, it's so sad. I am hunted by the ghost of our memories. My life was good and beautiful because of this wonderful lady in my life. Someone once said, "in death come peace and pain is the cost of living as love is how we know that we are alive" In another life, stay with me longer than you have in this life. I swear to love you all my life and if one of us has to go away.....💔

   "In another life , I hope it will not be you but me. I love you so much and it hurts so much to let you go. The opposite of love is not hate but leaving. The scar you have left will continue to bleed but I hope time will heal it or perhaps one day I will forgive myself of not being able to protect you and move on.. Until then. Goodnight" 

😔💔

*Just Ella***

Hi ... If you've read it up to this point.. You're at the end. Yay... Thank you so much for reading, it means a lot.. Please tell me your thoughts in the comment, I really want to know.. Thanks again, and see you in five days for another beautiful story.. Perhaps not as sad😁, or maybe just as. We'll never know.. Bye. Stay beautiful😍 and hey, if you really like the story. Would you please share, Facebook, what's app or twitter.. 👎🏿Thank you😍